The Scamathon

[Audio: Loud tuba sound] 

[Visual] The frame opens of a wide shot of the ’Scamathon’ television set. The shot is set far back so cameras, microphones, studio lights and set crew are visible. The set is lit up with small light bulb lights and bright colours. There’s a small desk central on stage.  

The main host is standing central on stage in front of the desk in his oversized tacky suit and tie. He has his left hand to his ear as if he’s receiving a live feed. The secondary host is also on stage standing off to our left patiently but excitedly. Both hosts eyes are covered by a black rectangle covering them, as if there to shield their identity. 

A group of colourful brass band members in full uniform, also wearing black rectangle across their eyes, head off to the right of the stage holding their instruments. 

[Audio: main host] It looks like a fresh new donor’s password has just come through. 

[Visual] The shot cuts to a new scene of a ‘Scamaphonian’ call centre all set up in front of a large orange wall, bordered with lightbulbs. In the foreground, people sitting in rows behind a long desk. The desks are lined with phones – in the style of a call centre for a televised event. They all have dark rectangles covering their eyes. They’re all staring straight ahead and all clapping in short fast claps. Lights and set gear are in the shot. Standing up behind the telephone operators, are two news hosts, the call centre manager and the female host who are both standing either side of a big green button. They both have black rectangles covering their eyes and are also making this quick clapping action. Both have large grins on their face. 

[Audio] Claps and audience excitement 

[Visual] Frame jumps to the secondary host back to the side of the main stage. He’s standing alone as he introduces the next segment. 

[Audio: Secondary host] Say hello to Sally Anne-Marie from Gore! 

[Visual] Frame cuts to the nearby television screen wall made up of old TVs. Some have static screens, but the focus is on a grainy image of a woman on one screen. She sits in her office eating a sandwich while she’s scrolling on her phone. Shot through her computer webcam it feels voyeuristic and unnerving - and she’s unaware we are watching. 

[Audio: main host] Shall we get Sally to make a 50k donation?  

[Visual] Frame cuts back to main host where he’s standing there central on stage looking direct to camera holding his hand out with a ‘what do you think’ gesture. The secondary hosts walks into the frame as the camera zooms back. He’s walking intentionally and clapping his hands in an exaggerated way. 

[Audio: call centre staff/crowd] USE THAT PASSWORD! 

[Visual] Frame cuts back to The Scamathon call centre where the call centre manager hits a big green button. The Female host looks on excitedly while the telephone operates repeat their tranced lines. 

[Audio] noise to indicate the button was pressed 

[Audio] text message on Sally’s phone makes a ‘ding’! 

[Visual] Frame flicks back to the television wall. We see Sally-Anne from Gore on screen; she looks more closely at her phone, a little weirded out. Everyone in the studio falls silent. 

[Audio: Sally] That’s weird… 

[Visual] Frame cuts back to the secondary host with a shot of him at waist hight. He’s looking around. His large grin has disappeared and he’s looking nervous. 

[Audio: music] A small background tune starts to play very subtly, building the tension, getting faster 

[Visual] Frame cuts back to the television wall. Sally-Anne from Gore has put down her sandwich and defiantly clicks a button on her phone. The screen cuts out with static. 

[Audio: Sally] No! 

[Visual] The TV screen cuts out with static. And the frame jumps back to the main stage to focus in on the main host where he’s standing stiffly. He’s holding a hand mic to his face. His face drops and he’s looking bothered and cross.  

The frame quickly jumps again back to the call centre to get a reaction shot. The telephone operators and the two call centre hosts are all facing to the right – indicating they’re looking across to the main stage. Everyone draws in breath fast in tandem, in shock.  

[Audio: call centre] Gasps! 

[Visual] The frame cuts back to the main stage in a wide shot and zooms out a little more. Before cutting in close to the main host waist hight. You can see the ‘Scamathon’ sign in the background. As the main host is talking, all movement is exaggerated in his lower face and specifically his mouth. 

[Audio: main host] (Cooly) Remember everyone! Enabling two-factor authentication isn’t in the spirit of The Scamathon. Give give give! 

[Visual] The main host chews on the end of his sentence as a wide grin spreads across his face. The feed suddenly distorts and is interrupted with static shutting down the Scamathon feed. The screen flicks over and ends with a test pattern.  

It’s coloured with Own Your Online branded colours (shades of green and purples) as well as black, whites and greys. The message reads O.Y.O Don’t give to the Scamathon. Own Your Online. Before switching to a final message: Turn on two-factor authentication. 

[Audio] Signal failure beep.

[Visual] The frame opens with recording distortion and static of a wide shot of the ’Scamathon’ television set. The shot is set far back so cameras, microphones, studio lights and set crew are visible. The set is lit up with small light bulb lights and bright colours. There’s a small desk central on stage.  The main host is walking left across the stage in his oversized tacky suit and tie. His eyes are covered by a black rectangle, shielding his identity. 

He’s holding his left hand out gesturing to the left of the stage.  

A ventriloquist in a snazzy suit, leaves to the right of the stage holding their puppet. 

[Audio] – cuts in almost as if mid-sentence over a clapping crowd. 

[Audio: Main host] The incredible waterproof password! 

[Visual] Frame cuts with static and opens to a close-up frame of a bright orange sheet covering something on a stand. The main host unveils a fishbowl in one quick crispy whip. The frame cuts to a stage shot with the main host and the female host standing there gushing over the goldfish. She is wearing a purple dress and has her eyes covered by a black rectangle. The frame flicks to a close-up of the goldfish swimming along happily. 

[Audio: main host] Who's a good boy then? 

[Visual] Frame switches back to the stage shot and the main host squats down to take a closer look at the fish. 

[Audio: female host] Oh, he's gorgeous, isn't he? 

[Visual] Camera pans to audience for applause. We see stacked bleaches covered in rubbish and no audience. The bleachers sit in front of three ‘applause’ lights, and the rest of the room is an eerily dark space with studio lights lighting it up very minimally.   

[Visual] The frame flicks back to the fishbowl in a close-up focus. The main host is now crouched down directly behind the bowl looking at us through the glass. His reflection magnified as it casts through the water – his mouth and amplified smile are the key focus, with the fish off to the right.  

[Audio: main host] This is JAWS123. Not only is he a good swimmer…

[Visual] The shot cuts to a new scene of a ‘Scamaphonian’ call centre all set up in front of a large orange wall, bordered with lightbulbs. In the foreground, people sitting in rows taking calls. They are all wearing black rectangles over their eyes but aren’t too visible. The focus is directed at the orange password wall behind them. Standing up behind the telephone operators, is the call centre manager. He has his back turned to the audience as he’s placing the letters up to form a password - ‘JAWS123’ - on the wall. Once complete, he bounces around to face the camera. He’s animated and gives his hands a big clap. He has his eyes covered by a black rectangle. 

[Audio: main host] but a good password, for us.  

[Audio: audience – cheers] 

[Visual] Frame pans to a close-up of the empty audience seats. Rubbish scattered all over. The camera zooms in on an empty popcorn carton with popcorn all over the seat before flicking back to main stage with main host and female host standing together. The main host has his hand on the stand next to the fishbowl and gestures towards the fish as he speaks. The female host is standing there slightly behind him with a large, exaggerated grin and leans in when she speaks. 

[Audio: main host] So pick a nice, easy password like your pet's name. 

[Audio: female host] Or even your birthday. 

[Visual] frame flashes to a closeup shot of fishbowl. The main host has crouched back down and is looking through the bowl at the camera with his head slanted. The camera zooms in as the host delivers his line. He ends with a huge grin – his teeth beaming through the bowl. 

[Audio: main host] Good password. 

[Visual] The feed suddenly distorts and is interrupted with static shutting down the Scamathon feed. The screen flicks over with a code ‘T3duIFlvdXIgT25saW5lIA==’ flashing up and ends with a test pattern.  It’s coloured with Own Your Online branded colours (shades of green and purples) as well as black, whites and greys. The message reads O.Y.O Don’t give to the Scamathon. Own Your Online. Before switching to a final message: Use long, unique passwords. 

[Audio] Signal failure beep.

[Visual] The frame opens with recording distortion and static of a shot of the right-hand side of the ‘Scamathon’ television set. The shot is set far back so cameras, microphones, studio lights and set crew are visible. A ‘Sacamathon’ banner is in the background and the set is lit up with small light bulb lights and bright colours. There’s a small desk central on stage. 

[Visual] Four people stand in a line looking at the camera. Their eyes are covered by a black rectangle. The second, third and fourth in line are all standing with their hand on the waist of the person in front of them.  

As the Audio starts, they shuffle slowly dancing in a conga line and move right across the stage. The hosts have large smiles on their faces. The conga looks unpolished, but the hosts are animated and gleeful. They are taking great joy when they sing. 

[Audio] A loud beat begins 

[Audio: all singing] Thank you very much for the easy passwords! Keep it simple, please - so that we can pinch your cash with ease!  

[Visual] The person in the front, the main host stamps down on a balloon on the ground, making it pop. By now all four hosts are in the centre of the stage. 

[Visual] The camera cuts to a new scene. It pans out to the audience where there is stacked bleaches covered in rubbish and an empty crowd. The bleachers sit in front of three ‘applause’ lights, and the rest of the room is an eerily dark space with studio lights lighting it up very minimally.  Ballons are bouncing across the ground. 

[Audio: all singing] Thank you for not using two-factor authentication...  

[Audio] Music slows, similar to a record scratching.  

[Visual] The screen distorts before going fuzzy and interrupted with static shutting down the Scamathon feed. A new screen flashes up with a test pattern.  It’s coloured with Own Your Online branded colours (shades of green and purples) as well as black, whites and greys. The message reads O.Y.O Don’t give to the Scamathon. Own Your Online. Before switching to a final message: Turn on two-factor authentication.  

[Audio] Signal failure beep. 

[Audio: crowd] Clapping 

[Visual] The scene opens on a wide shot of a studio-based ‘Scamathon’ television set. The shot is set far back so cameras, microphones, studio lights and set crew are visible. The set is lit up with small light bulb lights and bright colours. There’s a small desk central on stage. We see two characters standing centre stage. One is in an oversized tacky suit and tie – he is the host of The Scamathon event with the other standing next to him in his shiny suit. Both of their eyes are covered by a black rectangle. Moving off stage to our left are four bowlers dressed in white, holding buckets and giant cheque. They also have their eyes covered by a black rectangle.  

[Visual] The camera starts slowly zooming in. The secondary host brushes the four bowlers away subtly. 

[Audio: secondary host] Thank you... We're so sorry, Aotearoa.  

[Visual] The camera jumps up closer to the two hosts – still in full body shot and continues to slowly zoom in. 

[Audio] Crowd noise and chatter can be heard with bits like ‘awww’, as well as a subtle build in show tune. 

[Audio: main host] We missed our goal of raising $3.8 million dollars this week.  

[Visual] Frame flicks to a ticker which shows $2,366,402 on it. The ticker is built from a tower of different televisions, some of which have static screens, with several showing scenes of all sorts of different people. The ticker itself is lit up and is glowing with lightbulbs. 

[Visual] Video cuts back to main host and secondary host on stage. They are perfectly framed in the lightbulbs and have the ‘Scamathon’ sign directly above their heads.. As the main host delivers his line, both hosts bring their arms out to their sides with jazz fingers. The camera pans out fast to add effect. 

[Audio: main host] JOKES! 

[Visual] Close up to the ticker appears, without the wall of televisions. The new amount - $3,814,862 flashes up three times. 

[Audio: main host] You gave us your all!  

[Visual] The frame flicks back to the main stage. The female host and call centre manager joins the other two hosts centre stage. They have their eyes covered with black rectangles and float and dance up from the back of the stage. All hosts are gleeful, celebrating and very happy like they’ve hit the jackpot. The main host stands with his feel apart looking straight at the camera with his huge grin. The secondary host puts his palms together and the camera slowly pulls out. 

[Audio: secondary host] Your easiest, most samesy passwords. 

[Audio: female host] Your lack of two-factor authentication. 

[Audio: Call centre manager] Your life savings. 

[Visual] The camera cuts to a new scene. It pans out to the audience where there is stacked bleaches covered in rubbish and an empty crowd. The bleachers sit in front of three ‘applause’ lights, and the rest of the room is an eerily dark space with studio lights lighting it up very minimally.  The camera is slowly zooming in. 

[Visual] Frame cuts back to the main host on the main stage. He’s standing alone and at a closer position. He has his hands up open to his sides. The frame distorts and flicks as he delivers his line. 

[Audio] Main host’s voice starts to distort as he delivers the next line 

[Audio: main host] But best of all, we're doing it all again. 

[Visual] Video cuts fast between the next few scenes, and shots from previous videos in the week, but is in reverse, as if someone is rewinding a tape. We see the fish-bowl with goldfish, the water is shaking, then we see the call centre scene, with rows of people at desks wearing black rectangles on their eyes in front of an orange password wall. The Call centre manager is standing in front of the wall with ‘JAWS123’ password and clapping joyously.  

[Audio: Thank you very much....plays at double speed.  

[Visual] The conga line plays out backwards with the hosts dancing in reverse across stage and finally landing on the ticker, above the wall of televisions. The number amount flicks back to $0,000,000. 

[Visual] The frame cuts to static.   

[Audio] Static noise  

[Visual] There’s a split-second shot of the main host down the end of a very long hallway making shapes with his body before static takes over the screen and ends with a test pattern.  

It’s coloured with Own Your Online branded colours (shades of green and purples) as well as black, whites and greys. The message reads O.Y.O Scammers count on your kindness. Own Your Online. Before switching to a final message: Don’t give to The Scamathon. 

[Audio] Signal failure beep.